How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I woke up today

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's big, old, and brown? A tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why are anti jokes so funny? Because their not.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats worse than killing people that have bags on their heads? finding out that the people that u have just killed were your own children.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's black and white and red all over? The dead kitten on the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a cow that's holy? Holy Cow

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. Why was the Asian boy crying A. Because i stabbed his family

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why could the kid not finish his homework? Because it flew out the window on the way to his parents funeral

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth? Lucky to have teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is the redneck crying? They died of diabeetus.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats worse than being bored, Being you.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a video worth?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops