A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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what is long on joe? Not his dick thats for sure.

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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What does bigfoot have? Big feet.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

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there was a Black and Mexican in a car who was driving? the cop

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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What did the girl say to the guy who poked her on Facebook? You poked me.

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how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

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why was the little boy brutally murdered? there was a serial killer in his town.

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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