Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

Why did the boy eat the hedgehog? Because it made his mouth bleed,

whats up with that? i'm from jersy

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to his mother's funeral.

the awkward moment when a sentence doesnt end the way you think it octopus

What's black and is hanging from a tree in my backyard? Avocados.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

What is the meaning of life? 42

If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

What's plastic and kids turn it on... A xbox.

A man walks into a haunted house and screams. He had arrows on a nail.

What's worse...a thousand dead babies in one joke...or one dead baby in a thousand jokes?

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

What do you call a moose with a 12 gauge shotgun bullet through it's head? Open Season

Due to the wildlife conservation program prevalent in the neighborhood, the chicken was able to cross the road safely.

Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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