-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked.

what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

"If life was fair, I would have a girlfriend" - William Deane

whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

Together we can get theist likes on anti-jokes :)

Friends are like snowflakes When you pee on them they disappear

How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your cousin. Kathy then let Jim inside her house and helped him carry the pizza boxes into the kitchen. Everyone had fun and enjoyed the party very much that night.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a type of small aquatic craft, and the other is a human being who practices Judaism.

knock knock who's there? a dog ......dogs cant talk ..................

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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