Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

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What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

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knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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UN

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

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Q: Why was the black man good at basketball? A: because he practiced

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They both died of blood loss.

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WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

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A father had three children Rose Daisy and Cinderblock. Rose comes up to her father and asks"daddy why am i named Rose?' the father answered"well when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head"Rose Reply's "oh thats nice" and walk's away. the Daisy comes up and ask's "Daddy! why am i named Daisy!" the Dad answered "well. when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head" Daisy Replied" oh ok i guess" and walked away. Then Cinderblock came up and asked "duuuhhhd" and the father simply replied" Shut up Cinderblock".

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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Why is meth so addicting? Why? Hang on, i gotta go do some meth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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