How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What do you call a vehicle has 56 wheels? Anything you want, because it hasn't been invented yet.

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Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

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whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

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Asian women drivers...

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

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Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

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Why couldn't Dumbo fly? Because he had just been killed by an African Poacher, and dead elephants can't fly. This is very sad.

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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What do you get when you cross a rainbow with a unicorn, baby, helmet, a bag of sugar, some watermelons, and a jewish guy's hair? A rainbow unicorn baby helmet with a bag of sugar and some watermelons. and some jewish guy's hair.

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

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It's raining it's poring the old man died die to a sudden increase in blood pressure thus leading to a heart attack

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I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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What's green and brown, and if it fell out of a tree on you it would kill you? A billiard table?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops