- Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Repeat falls off, who's left? - Pete? - F**k yes.

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For New Years I want to spend more time with my... Video Games

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why did the little boy fall down?? Because a terrorist shot him

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Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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Your mom.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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your mum

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

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What's the opposite of white? Black. You're racist. You fapped.

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

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smell the vitamin C

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

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Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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