You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

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roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

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Tom: Did you here about the blond who went to college? Mike: No. Tom: Well I heard she's leading a very successful life.

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

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There was a joke, one sentance, and no punchline.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not your cheese.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7-8-9

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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yo mama is so fat that a kid said to her ' The White Buddha Has Returned'

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True or False : it would not cause a public disturbence to express your P0rnagraphy to the public??? true. P0rnagraphy is the freedom of speech and ability to express oneself

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When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Knock knock Whos there? The Gestapo

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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Whats the difference between chad woldert and justin beiber? Nothing

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Casey Anthony kills a baby

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hi i'm a dick, i mean mitt romney

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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