What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

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My, you you... SEDUCER! XD, and there I go proving your point by going uppercase XD

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How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

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Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? They do. In fact, seagulls can be found near almost any body of water.

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"Why isn't Bud capable of reading?" Bud is a stone "Why can't Peter drive?" Peter is a woman

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? I don't know... That action was so barbarous that it freaked me out, and I was no longer in the vicinity of the area. Since I don't have supersonic hearing, I couldn't pick up anything they were saying...

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

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HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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3 Women were on a desert Island, This Island was situated in the middle of the Atlantic so there was no hope of survival.

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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what did the man say when he was reading a book? nothing, if u assume the situation when hes reading to himself.

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Q How do you know when a gay walks into a bar A Albert rushes over and starts feeling him up

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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