A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

Hey man. what? squidbillies.

What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

Knock Knock Who did that?

Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

Q. How did the blind man cross the road A. By an abmulance which took him to the hospital because his first attempt to cross was unsuccessful and the hospital was conventeintly located on the other side of the road.

What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

sex with dead people. they can't say no;)

Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

The Oakland Raiders

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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