so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

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Knock Knock! Who's there? It's Jim. Jim who? I'm your son, Jim. Are you losing your memory?

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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Why is the black man in the ghetto? He is a cop and is trying to solve a murder that was committed a couple days ago.

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You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

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get it right up there, says jacob while with danni

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What did the bacon say to Sam's eggs? Why are you green?

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What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

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why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

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A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

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What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Ur mum.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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