Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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What do you call a creepy person trying to break into your house? A robber

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when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

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Hail Heetluh

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did the blonde girl lie? Because she's a liar.

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Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

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What was even more disgusting than the holocaust? Lucy's new shoes.

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

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Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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VaginaBoob ^.^

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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wormly wormly sat on the worm theworm said wormly and went to warmly

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A Jew,Spiderman and The Incredible Hulk all jump off the top of the Empire State Building,who hits the ground first? The Jew because the other two dont exist

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if life throws you lemons you must be dyslexic

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar and the bartender says, " OH MY GOD! YOU CAN WALK?!?!"

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Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops