What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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The 80's called. They need their couch back.

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What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

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i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

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Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

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Poker face

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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What did the Black women tell her Asian boyfriend in bed Nothing because they don't talk when they are sleeping

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

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Did you hear about the 2 car crash in a walmart parking lot? 50 mexicans died

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Why was the Black person afraid of the chainsaw? Be cause it goes run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run

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why did the chinese man die because someone shot him

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Little Susie fell of the swings. Where did she go? On the ground.

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin "Boy, it sure is getting hot in here," and the other muffin replies "yeah, that's because it's an oven."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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