Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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what did the blind man get for christmas? Cancer.....

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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There was porn on the Internet I masturbated to it, but my parents caught me, and I can't ever leave the house again until I'm 18.

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

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Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? - Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up again? - Because she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her? - Because she had no friends. Knock knock. -Who's there? Not Sally.

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a jewish man with a boner walks into a wall what does he hit first his cheek due to the fact he was looking at an attractive woman

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are....

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Do you know what the meaning of life is? Of course you don't.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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A:Why did the chicken cross the road? B:To get The Daily.....Do you get it. A:No. B:Me neither..I get The Times.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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Knock Know Who's there? Not your dog, he just got run over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops