The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, because if it's black and white, it can't be red.

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What's a Democrat's favorite activity? Blaming Republicans for shit they didn't do.

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roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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True or False : it would not cause a public disturbence to express your P0rnagraphy to the public??? true. P0rnagraphy is the freedom of speech and ability to express oneself

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

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When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

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What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

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Whats the difference between chad woldert and justin beiber? Nothing

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not your cheese.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

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I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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What's white and sticky? Snow. What were you thinking of?

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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Jimmy has nine bags of sugar. He eats nine bags of sugar. What doeshe have now? Diabetes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops