Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Your son Your son who? Your son who’s sick of having a paranoid mother who won’t just open the door!

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roak

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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why did the chicken cross the world becuase he had to go in the bathroom

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A seal walks into a club.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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What did hitler get for christmas??? Roughly 3 million dead jews in the ashtray

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Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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What's the difference between Josef fritsal and a fridge? A fridge can be thrown at a bowl of custard.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm an expert on flowers.

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

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What do you call a saxaphone playing unicorn, that's flying away to a distant planet on a penguin? a dream

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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