What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: How many dwarfs does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1 or 2. One to change the light bulb and maybe another one to guards the staircase for the safety of the first one when the ceiling is too high (Wich happens almost every time because they are dwarfs.)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Just got cancer: YOLO!! -sad face-

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Joker: Knock knock Batman: Who's there Joker: Not your parents

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is it wrong to love your neighbour? You would be loving a dickhead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

pull my finger (farts)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, violets are blue my neighbor is black he will jump you too

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops