What Happens when you shoot a deer? It's Dead

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A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Falafel. Falafel who? I falafel. You feel awful? Ha, ha, ha! Oh, what a kneeslapper! Oh, God! Thanks for the laugh, I was feeling a little down and I... No, I just meant I ate a falafel. Oh. Yeah.

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A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

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Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

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what did the African kid get for his birthday AIDS

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

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Why didn't the boy get his mom anything for her birthday? He was killed by a drunk driver years ago

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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why did the T-Rex eat the other dinosaur? Because it is a carnivorous animal.

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Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

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Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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Q:What do you do when you see a talking raccoon A:Quit the LSD

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people say thers saftey in numbers, try telling that to 6 million jews

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Knock knock Who's there Police, there's been an accident Oh really? Know i'm actually a serial rapist and i have a gun so open up

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What's worse than someone who thinks Sting is a nice guy? Sting.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was hoping to achieve greater economic prosperity and well-being for his family. penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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