Ich bin nicht der Anführer

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Win industrial estate, Newry

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's red, white, and blue? light purple

thumb_up thumb_down -30

ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did Hitler hate Jews? Because he use to get bulied by them when he was in high school.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what do u say to a girl after you have sex with her? i like cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's the difference between michael jackson and casey anthony? Michael jackson's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

thumb_up thumb_down -30

"Hey hey hey, did you hear the joke about the guy with terminal cancer?" "No." "Sorry to break it to you then."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock Knock... Who's there? The FBI, you're going to jail. Really? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did Billy Bob kidnap Jamal? Because he finds the African American community fascinating and is unable to start up a regular conversation due to the over-amplified stereotype that rednecks usually kidnap and/or kill black people. Therefore, kidnapping Jamal was necessary so that he could have a conversation with him about his heritage and background.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Roses are red viloets are blue mw3 sucks and bf3 is good

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Arab 1: Du good bai me, and I'll du good bai you. Arab 2: Ye men, sounds good men. Arab 3: O man, no way. Arab 4: K, u wait...jus wait n see.. Arab 5: I no interest! Me so saudi! Arab 6: D'oh...ha, ha, haa! Arab 7: This is so bahrain...I'm going to go club some protesters.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What does it mean if your born on opposite day? you have sids

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops