As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

how do u know when your in west virginia? when the houses have more wheels than the cars

What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

Double-whammy

A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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