A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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Roses are red violet are blue i saw a machine and it was ps2

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What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

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Where do you study to get a good education? A library, at home, or at another quiet location where it is easy to concentrate.

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You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

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What was so funny about my sister getting raped? Nothing, there's never anything funny about someone getting raped, especially when it is a close friend or family member

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

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Hey, have you heard the one about the elf and the watermelon? Neither have I.

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Whats white and can't climb trees? Yogurt.

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

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how many black guys goes it take to screw inalightbulb? just one, but inalightbulb was feeling rather slutty today, so 2.

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NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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why couldnt the man run because he had no legs

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Mitt Romney

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And this poem sucks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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