A man walked in a bar and asked for 10 shots. (not descriptively) The bar tender got his gun out and shot the man 10 times. Another man asked for three stabs at it. The bar tender stabbed him 3 times. The last man asked for a bomb load. The bar tender gave him 100's of granades. Then the man bombed down the bar with the bar tender inside

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the disabled kid do on friday? He fell down a flight of stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

thumb_up thumb_down -26

If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

the blue man livedin the blue house the black man in the black house the white man in the white house but who lived in the white house ,not the white man barack obama

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings? whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 bee stings? No! The holicost Whats worse than the holicost? What? 3 Bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the rich man say to the poor man? i feel sorry for you

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

thumb_up thumb_down -26

In mediavel times :A Jew rapes his mom.... He is promptly taken out of society and thrown into a lions den due to his act of imortality.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops