Whats the difference between a giraffe and an elephant. Ones a giraffe and ones and elephant

So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

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A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

Knock Knock? Whos there? The police, please open the door.

What did the black man do in the Italian Pub? He gave a 20% tip and couldn't have been more courteous.

Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

What do you call a bear. Rob.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

What do you call a black man on a bike? Environmentally friendly.

What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

an irishman gets on facebook...he has 7 friend request

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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