why did the man fall off his unicycle? because he was dead

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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What the problem with writing an anti-joke? Trying to not come up with a punchline.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by a fridge. Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she got hit by a fridge. Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because it had no face.

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What has 8 legs and 1 eye? 2 chairs and half a fish.

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regoereiorgiorehgijreirehrfjirgjirejgruirehgrghehiiehaoiwpo;lkswpokewqoifgoieqjgiubtfoewfiir K.O

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What did little ben get for christmas? A dead grandma

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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What did the black man do when he walked into the bar? He went up the bartender and bought a beer.

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? rape

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a jewish man walks into a wall with an erection. what hits first? his erection

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What do you call a black doctor? Doctor.

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What do you call Willy Wonka when he is in Colorado? Willy Colorado.

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What Did The Kid With No Arms And No Legs Get For His Birthday? A Walking Stick

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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What happened to him after he died? He got buried.

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I once went to a Haitian party, yea.. The DJ really brought the house down.

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What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

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Hey connor and brett its ben, you are both at my house

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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