There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your grandpa's dead So are you.

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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Yo mama so fat she has to wear large clothes

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There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair.

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A man with Tourettes walks into his Daughter's kindergarten classroom. Fortunately, he was able to control himself and refrain from any outbursts of profanity during the visit.

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What did the one alcoholic say to the other? We are both alcoholics

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Why did the man cross the street? Because no cars were coming and he wanted to get to the othher side

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What did the boy's mother say to her daughter when she walked in on her father having sex with her grandmother? The grandfather said "how are you"? He wasn't a part of that fiasco. However I'm sure that whoever saw what was confused and looking for answers.

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How did the hot blonde get a promotion from her boss? She worked really hard and achieved more thaan her coworkers.

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, I do not stand for them.

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A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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Why did the couple stop at the stop sign? Because it's the law.

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whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Sasquatch. Sasquatch who? ROAR

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what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

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knock knock who's there me me who It's me your son who was in prison for 6 years for false charges of attempted homicide

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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