What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Where does the girl with one leg work? Ihop

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How come Billy can only swim in circles? His right arm and right leg were amputated because he scraped his left arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

PSP its a nut you can play... Outside...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

thumb_up thumb_down -5

three people come to a serial killers house. one was annoying one was immature and one was stupid he would put them all in the same boat. then he towed it into shark infested waters, sunk it and watched them speak their mind. the annoying one said "nah nah nuh boo boo you cant eat me!" the immature one said "im gonna ride one!" and the stupid one said "could you please tell your sharks to stop eating my leg? i need it to swim away from these sharks that are eating my leg." moral of the story: dont go to serial killers homes. they will most likely kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Hello, I am Sergent Henry Orange. I'm afraid your husband was shot down by an enemy aircraft. I'm sorry, he was a brave man.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monekey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the girl fall of of her bike? She was hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call the black guy with a gun a ski mask on? Tyrone, because thats his name.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why do fat people eat so much? who cares

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

two men where hunting one man shot a deer and ate it, the other man shot the man who killed the deer and made human steaks. a day later he killed his family. and ate them with his dog. he then grabbed the deer that was left in his fridge and used it to make a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Tests.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops