What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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Why are large breasts so awesome? Cleavage is sexually attractive to both men and women

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How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

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What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

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An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

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Why didn't the man laugh at his son's joke? Because he was born without a mouth.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

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Little Susie fell of the swings. Where did she go? On the ground.

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Roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry show me your tits!!

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Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man. A pizza can feed a family of five.

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Did you hear the one about the man who fell asleep on the job? He woke up.

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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What do you call a creepy person trying to break into your house? A robber

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If at first you dont succeed..... your not chuck norriss

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Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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A horse walks into a bar, it broke both its legs and was then put down.

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So 185 cowboys walk into a bar and the bartender says "I can't serve 185 cowboys!" The cowboys ask why not and the bartender says "Because that would exceed the legal maximum occupancy of this building."

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Why Didnt John Return any of his calls he was in a very serious car accident fell into a coma and will probablly will not wake up ever again

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what did the lesbian do with the other lesbian? played badminton

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What do u call a cripple Biv

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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