There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A frog jumped on the lilly pad, it sank and drown and all of the tadpoles didn't have a mother and inevitably died

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the black man very rich? Because he was a lawyer who worked hard and was able to provide himself with a steady income.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A: Knock Knock B: Come in A: Come in Who B: Your Mum...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Guess What!? What?! GIGGITY GIGGITY GOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (ALL RIGHT) OH.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats the difference between a baby and a puppy? i care when the puppy dies....

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why didnt little timmy finish his test he was eaten by a muslim rhino... .

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's black and white and red all over? A dying zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Guy: Roses are red, violets are blue, you're beautiful and sexy too. Girl: Roses are red violets are blue, how many girls have you told that to? Guy:... Girl: Exactly.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats bloop with an m? matthew

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops