Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

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A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

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What do you call a dog that can't pass an Algebra test? A dog.

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How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

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What did the wall say to the floor? Nothing.

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Justin Bieber hits puberty

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Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

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Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Tourettes Kid. Touret- FUCK SHIT!

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So a guy walks in to a bar.... and orders a beer.

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Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

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What's yellow and shouldnt be in this country. The asian girl in my economics class

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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What do u call a beaner when he stands up 4 foot nothing

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Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

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Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

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A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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