Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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A program that creates "pointless inventions" and posts them at the wrong sections.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

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Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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what was postman pat's name before he was a postman? Pat.

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The asian boy only did an hour of study....... nothing was heard of him after his mum found out

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Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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You are walking down the street. You see 3 black people and you don't talk to them because they are complete strangers.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

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If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

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When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

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What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

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What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

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whats similar between a eagle and a armidillo? they both can fly. apart from the armidillo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops