A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

Why are black people good at basketball? Because they train hard and practice daily.

Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

How do you stop a black man from bleeding? You give him a bandaid. What if he keeps crying? Tell him to stop. What if he cries more? Buy him an ostrich.

Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

I'm dressing up as a shia for halloween

What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. but has a high probability of getting hit by a car and slowly dying from crushed limbs

A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender calls animal control.

batman has diarrhea

A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

If you driving a jetski and the wheeles fall off how many screws does it take to fix the dog house? BLUE PAINT

Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

What's worse than having two girlfriends at once? Seven. Seven girlfriends.

an alien is walking down the street he can't breathe our air and quickly suffocates and dies

I am a women

Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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