What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

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What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

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A Native American walks into a casino. He wants to invest a protion of his earnings from his fortune 500 company into it because he believes it to be a profitable venture.

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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Why did my pussy get wet? Because I splashed him with water. LOL SO FUNNY OMFG DA BEST JOKE EVA!!

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How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Parkinson's dl;ghd;jgfldsj;foshdgoljdlkfnjslpaoijejknjvnoidnmaokepinjndonfvio

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Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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knock knock Person A: who's there Person A: oh shit that was me

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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A Blond and a Brunette are falling down to their deaths, which one hits the ground first? Does it matter? They both die anyway.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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Why couldn't the prostitute give a proper blow job..... She had no lips

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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