My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

A vegetarian walked into a butcher Luckily he realized where he was and walked out!

Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

Why was the black man running? he was participating in race for the cure, a charity event where all proceeds go to breast cancer awareness.

Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

Robert Mugabe.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I ASKED YOU FIRST!

Why does Justin Beiber look like a girl? Because he achieved international fame and fortune at a prepubescent age, and has made more money before he turned 18 than most people will in their entire lives.

This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H20." The second one says "why did you come to the bar if you're just going to have water?" and orders a beer.

happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

what happen to the popo who got arrested? he told himself that he had the right to remain silent

why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

what does hi = good by cause person doesn't like you.

Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

A priest, a rabbi and Santa walk into a bar. that's a highly coincidental situation.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

Your mom is so ugly, she suffers from severe depression and regularly contemplates suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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