What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

What did the black jewish homosexual say to the conquistador? Nothing as they were both from entirely different time periods.

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

I was strolling along the countryside and saw 2 niiggers peacefully hanging from a tree

TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

There was a Indain and cowboy hunting together. the Indian put his ear down to the gound and said "buffulo come". The cowboy said he didnt see anything when the Indian said, "its Sticky!!!

What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Bus....

Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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