A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. The polish are a civilized and prosperous country.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue I kinda have a bad memory What are we doing again?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Loading...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what's worse than the holocaust? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do people from Indian Hill laugh? Like an Indian, huh, huh, huh!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops