how do you get an A in a class? idk never got on.

A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

Why was the white man's baby black? The mother was black.

Your mother is so old, she could easily be considered a senior citizen.

Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? I lost my tractor!

a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

What did the black man say to his wife on valentines day? - You are fat

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

Pacient: Doctor Doctor i think im becoming a vegetable... because of my heriditory bone marrow mutation

Once their was an ugly barnacle. He was sooooo ugly that everyone died! The end. :D

Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

Why did Timmy fall off his swing? The Holocaust

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...