A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why did Billy run away from a mysterious adult? He was playing the iconic game known as tag where 2+ people chase each other in an attempt to tag them.

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Error 37.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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why did the skeleton cross the road ? because it wanted too. lolz

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

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Your mom is so fat, that your gonna get a brother soon.

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A British man walks into a dentist's office.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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