the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse said nothing because it doesn't understand human language.

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What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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What do you call a police woman who shaves her pubes? PC Marion Jones

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Woman rights.

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a black man, a jew, a mexican and an irish man walked into a bar and the bartender says: This is joke right??

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Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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poop.

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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Ben Affleck

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

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There was once a boy who ate fire. He died of severe burns.

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why are little kids like tree's? ... they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops