What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

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A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7-8-9

- Knock, knock - Who's there? - Police - I'm not home!

what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

No because your face is really f***** up.

A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely I should proably go to the hospital

Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

What's scarier than a ghost? Ur mum.

What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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