why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

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How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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Why didn't the woman need a watch? Because she had both her hands amputated after battling diabetes.

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what's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings what's worse than 2 bee stings? the Holocaust. what's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings

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Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

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Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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7 chickens ran down the road. One ate a spider. He is now the fattest chicken.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

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horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Two peanuts walked into a bar... One was a salted.

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Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

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Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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What is black, white and red all over? Something that pertains those characteristics

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9 Cats on a boat. One Jumped off, how many left? 8.

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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roses are black your mamas white i didnt mean to say it but it's right

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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