I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Q-What was Hitlers favorite hobby to proceed in when he was sad? A- Manipulating populations and raping,torturing and mutilating the Jewish population.

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Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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Q: Why do sharks live in salt water A: Because if they don't the die from blood loss because their blood-cells swell up and explode in non- salty water.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me anytime you're free, but I can't guarantee I will answer because I could be at work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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