Nice legs....What time do they open?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the girl. Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He has cerebral palsy.

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

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Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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Why did the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops