Rebecca Black walks into a bar she took the back seat

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Kony 2012 - Uganda Be Kidding Me

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Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

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What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

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What's the Green Lantern's favorite holiday? Hannukah

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What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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Poker face

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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Why are black people black? They're not. They're brown you idiot.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead How did the second koala fall out of the tree? it was hit by the first one how did the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game and jumped off

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was holding on to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Pier pressure.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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A rabbit hops into a bar and sits on a stool, he then asks for a carrot, the barman didn't have a clue what he said because it was a rabbit so gives him a carrot to be generous. The bar door slams open and animal control put him in a cage and take him away. The moral of the story is that you should never let rabbits in your bar.

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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