why did the man beat his wife because he was mean

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

What do Michael Jordan and LeBron James have in common? They both have won NBA championships...except for Lebron.

How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

what rhymes with ham and bread? girl, make me a sandwich

Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

A duck and a chicken walk into a bar. How improbable.

What's funnier than a dead baby? A joke.

How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

How did the girl get her Mardi Gras beads? She purchased them at a reasonable price from a party store.

why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

What do you call a lubia chin jew slave?

why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

what di the black kid get 4 x-MAS nothing

What did Santa give little Susie for Christmas? Nothing, he raped her.

Q. Why is me question not funny? A. Because there is no point to it.

What did the Rabbit say to the horse? They are both completly differebt species and cannot communicate. Therefore, the rabbit said nothing.

i am blue you are red ive got a face look at it look at it i say

Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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