There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

everyone dislike this

What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

Do you know what God said to Hitler as he approached the gate of heaven? ??????????????????

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue This poem makes no sense Trampoline

Q: why are you gay A: because your physically attracted to the same sex

Nickelback.

Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

What's brown and sticky? Shit.

Roses are red Violets are blue What about pansies

Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

What did the duck say to the pickle? Quack

What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

how do you wake up lady gaga? poker face

Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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