You mean I have to type in this little box? That's so embarrassing!

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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A man and a women are having sex. He farted so she left before he came.

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what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

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A horse walks into a bar. He called him Arthur. Those are two sentences.

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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What's the differnce of victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and others were raped then killed. Kelvin Yang.

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what do u call a kid with autism? a autistic s.o.b or Hennon bart

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How do you kill a black man There is many ways

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Rozes r read Vilets r blew iy cahn noht spell becuase i am blind.

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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So I saw a man trying to push a plane. I asked why. He told me to mind my own business and go get ebola. And that's why I left for Africa.

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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What happens when you have nothing to do and you can't think of a joke? You just type whatever you want and hope to god someone likes it.

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Bob Saget

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What's the worlds best ice cream? Well overall I opinion is that because but I believe down to the but don't forget to mention that chocolate ice cream plays a huge however to flip the argument moreover I find it absurd that on the plus side four sides to tell the truth I wouldn't know to summarize the argument whereas to differ I would my final point is that Chocolate Ice cream is nice.

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A high school student finally gets the nerve to ask his long-time crush on a date. They begin dating, and eventually settle down and get married. After six months of marriage, she dies in a car crash and he spends years in therapy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get away from a gigantic tiger slowly stalking him

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Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

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What does Malcolm X think about when hes horny? Sex!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Finding an apple in your worm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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