A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Where do you study to get a good education? A library, at home, or at another quiet location where it is easy to concentrate.

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Roses are red violet are blue i saw a machine and it was ps2

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What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

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what did the horse say to the other horse Neigh

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

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which one is easiest

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Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

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I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there are many theories as to why the aforementioned chicken crossed the aforementioned road. The most plausible is that the chicken was wandering around, when it came upon a road. Being a chicken, it did not know the dangers of crossing it, and proceeded to.

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What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

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What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

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neil likes pube toast

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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Why was the Japanese man unable to see? Because it was extremely sunny outside and he had forgotten to wear sunglasses.

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A walks out of a bar and the joke is cut off by a-

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why was the toddler sad? he was diagnosed with cancer after his dog was put down because it raped and murdered his parents

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops