My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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What did the little boy get on christmas morning? Cancer.

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I once went to a Haitian party, yea.. The DJ really brought the house down.

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Knock Knock Who's there? a tree

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what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. The polish are a civilized and prosperous country.

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kinda have a bad memory What are we doing again?

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what's worse than the holocaust? nothing.

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What do you call a white duck? A quacker

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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