What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

i knew this one arab, who was so arab that there was nothing funny about him

What did Electra give her Dad for his birthday? Head. That's why her name is Electra.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

Where do you study to get a good education? A library, at home, or at another quiet location where it is easy to concentrate.

Roses are red violet are blue i saw a machine and it was ps2

How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Anonymous. Anonymous who? Exactly.

What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

What do you call a really bad band? Nickelback.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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