The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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What do you call an African-American, Latino, Asian, and Canadian all on the same football team? A reasonably diverse group of teammates who are most likely good acquaintances.

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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What do you call a joke book without a title? A joke book!!!!

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Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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Why did the black guy fell from the stairs? Because I threw him

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What is black and has no education A tire.

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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

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Knock, knock. Who's there? ...

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have herpees.

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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What is white and square? A ping pong block

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

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What's worse than 10 babies stapled to a tree? The Holocaust.

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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Useful Information: *2+2=5 *4+4=9 *6+6=13 Q: Given this information, how many fingers am I holding up? A: It was a trick question. Batman didn't open the door.

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops