Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

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whats 1 + 1? 2

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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If you share rice between 30 Africans what do they each have? Aids.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

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Why did you fall? Because of my buttcrack.

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What did the boy born with cancer get for christmas? ... More cancer

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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If i open this door you can go trough it

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Yo momma is so fat, that after boarding an airplane the flight crew respectfully asked her to deboard, as with her on board the plane would be exceeding the reccomended weight, and thus be unable to fly safely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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