Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How much hard work does it take to become a man? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 was a sixoffender!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why do babies have soft spots? The skull of a baby is made up of skull bones, and in the places where the bones meet there are soft spots made up of a strong cartilage to allow the skull to grow with the baby's brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A woman says Renae has a butt... Two men say we don't care we have her hammer. True story.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red Violets are blue Btw I have aids And now you too

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was the five-year old lying in the middle of the sidewalk? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A. A gay bar

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock knock Who's there Knock knock Who's there Knock knock Who's there Never mind

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than being annal raped by a black man? Well lots of things are but being raped by a guy who has around a 7 inch penis may be hurtful I'm sure being cut open and eaten alive may be worse;)

thumb_up thumb_down -25

If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? Because the Joker was raping Robin too hard!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops