ROSES ARE RED VILOTS ARE BLUE I HOPE YOU KNOW IM A JEW

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

One day a man walked into a wall

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, his mouth was full of it's intestines.

“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

find the o 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duh its up top

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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